Monday, December 20, 2010

confessions of an impatiant mama

this has got to be the longest week of my life.
seriously worse then anticipate, then passing my due date with silas.
yes... worse than 41+weeks in the middle of the summer.
i usually look forward to christmas and it is so exciting to me.
nope, not this year. and it sucks.
i keep trying to tell myself, 'snap out of it', 'get over yourself', etc...
but i can't shake it. i can't sleep. i have had a tension headache for 4 days straight.
my stomach is churning. im frustrated.

frustrated i am not excited.
frustrated i cant see past my frustration.
frustrated at life.
frustrated with circumstances.
frustrated i can't control anything.
frustrated i dont know when or how or why.
frustrated because this isn't supposed to how it was supposed to be.

please Heavenly Father. give me peace. give me patience. calm my heart. calm my anxiety. lower my expectations. enjoy these moments and these days. help me to trust. help me to not be selfish.

1 comment:

Nikki said...

so sorry you are going through such a rough patch. I can only imagine how your heart longs to have your husband back home with you. Praying for joy and peace for you during this season. Keep your focus on that precious baby in a manger who was born to save us from our sins. That always seems to help turn a frown around.