Thoughts from Wednesday

My tissue box is empty (x's 2 actually)... my emotional state just cost me almost $5 so far for today. Plus there was that super chocolatey frap. I wonder if I can expense report the Army...

Why do people say, "Thanks for serving... don't worry, it won't be that hard" to me? I'm sorry, are you pregnant and sending your husband off on a year long deployment? Yeah... I didn't think so. But thanks for letting me know it shouldn't be "THAT" hard...

"Thanks for your service, but I really don't agree...." Just leave it. I don't care if you agree with it or not. Either leave it at "Thanks" or just don't say anything at all.

[YES, both comments in ONE DAY ---- ugggg]

It annoys me that people look at me and think I'm young knocked up pregnant teen. I'M NOT. I may be physically single parenting, but I'm NOT a single parent. Where's the shirt, or forehead stamp for that?...

I love talking with my sister and her insight into my life. Were so similar in so many ways. And when she gives me the "ultra tough love, perk up, what's God saying/teaching you" speal, I really appreciate it, cause it's what I need!

...So what IS it God is trying to teach me? It's hard to surrender your life, period. But for a long time I struggled surrendering my life to Christ. It's hard. And it's a daily, and moment by moment thing. Then getting married was a whole other story! That took me a while as well. But I feel like as soon as I have gotten to the wonderful place in my marriage, and feeling like I understand this respect/surrender thing in all these areas I needed to work on, it's back to a one women show. I hate that feeling. I hate giving up, then back to me again. (of course it's not like that with my relationship with my Savior, but still...) What is He trying to teach me? I'm praying about this. It's a frustrating place to be. But I have a while to figure it out I guess =)

"One does not surrender a life in an instant. That which is lifelong can only be surrendered in a lifetime. "
— Elisabet Elliot

New Creation

Holy Spirit hovering over the deep

Speak out the light and let it flood into me

Whisper the word that gave creation her form

I'm searching for a life that hasn't been there before

Speak light into the darkness

Breathe life into my lungs

Fill my soul as deep as the ocean

I'm reaching for your love

All that I can do is give it back to you

You've taken my old skin and made it new again

All that I can do is give it back to you

You've taken my old skin and made it new again

You have made me new , A new creation

All new, a new creation

Holy Spirit hovering over the deep

Bring out the colors that my heart's yet to see

The nights on fire for the warmth of your love

But every hour there's a risen sun

Speak light into the darkness

Breathe life into my lungs

Fill my soul as deep as the ocean

I'm reaching for your love

All that I can do is give it back to you

You've taken my old skin and made it new again

All that I can do is give it back to you

You've taken my old skin and made it new again

You have made me new , A new creation

All new, a new creation.